


Lykke

by HuldraAsalia



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Attempted Abortion, Established Relationship, F/M, Hospitalization, Miscarriage, Near Death Experiences, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Secrets, Teen Pregnancy, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 13:58:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11968848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HuldraAsalia/pseuds/HuldraAsalia
Summary: An AU from about autumn 2017. Eva and Chris have been together some time. Eva finds out she's pregnant. The couple now hits a roller coaster: panic, sharing a happy secret, a new catastrophe and deep sorrow. Eva and Chris experience the events very differently. They talk, and Chris find ways to help Eva to cope with her pain.





	Lykke

I have been quite tire and feeling not that good for some days now, and I just basically fall asleep at Noora's one evening when we do homework together. In the morning, I feel cold and even a bit nauseous, so Noora leaves me to sleep it off. When I do get up, I go to the kitchen to boil some water for tea, but Eskild is there having a late breakfast. The smell of his coffee is enough to make me sprint to the toilet to throw up. I pour some water in the tooth glass Noora found for me, and retreat to Noora's room to sip that water. Eskild soon comes to see how I'm doing.

\- Eva, are you sick?

\- I guess. I'm feeling bit better now, tough.

\- You didn't have anything to drink last night?

\- No, no. Just studying.

\- I don't want to hug you right now, but please tell me if there is something I can do for you, before I head to the university.

\- Did you have some more bread? And maybe some jam? And could you make me some tea?

\- Yes, no problem. I think Noora has some blueberry jam.

\- And please, empty the trash can before you go, I get sick of the smell!

\- Ok?

Eskild soon returns with tea and toast. He looks at me in silence, until he can't but speak up.

\- Eva, do you think you could be pregnant?

After I have eaten, I feel so much better, that I take the tram home. I just laughed Eskild out of the room. I'm obviously on the pill, how could I be pregnant? But his words don't leave my head, so I buy a pregnancy test – just so I don't have to think about it. The test says you should use the morning urine, so I leave it to wait. I'm feeling much better now anyway, and I eat dinner with mum. We even watch tv together, just that I'm asleep leaning to mum's shoulder at 20 o'clock. She helps me to bead, so that I can get some rest, and will surely be ok in the morning.

But in the morning I again feel the same nausea. I remember the test, and pee on the stick that I then hide under my pillow, so that I can look at it when mum has cone off. She's a bit worried, but there is obviously not much to do with a mild stomach bug.

When mum is out of the door, I find my test. And. I am pregnant. Shit.

I just sit on my bed feeling dizzy, while the blood escapes my head. This is not possible. This is not me! I google it. Forgetting pills, taking them at different times of the day, or throwing up afterwards could risk you getting pregnant. So it is true.

Chris. I have to tell him! I text him, and ask him to come. He'll come right after his lectures, but I can't wait. I ask him to come right away. In 20 minutes, he's at my door, looking worried, as pretty much everybody is these days.

\- Are you sick? What's wrong, baby?

That exact word! And his kind voice. I just start to cry.

While Chris holds me tight, I tell him the big news. It's a good thing I can't see the terror in his eyes, while he concentrates to take care of me.

\- Ok, Eva. If that's what has happened, we need to deal with it. We should probably go to see a doctor.

\- You want to take an abortion?

\- I think we should see a doctor, no matter what we want to do. But, yes I do think you should have an abortion. You're still in high school. It would be so difficult.

Chris makes the calls. We get an appointment in a couple of hours' time. The doctor confirms that I do am pregnant. Approximately 10 weeks, so I have about two weeks time to do the abortion. He makes me an appointment to hospital for the next Monday, three days ahead.

We walk out of the examination room in lack of words. I don't want to go home, so I stay at Chris' place.

\- You have to tell your'e mum. You will need her support afterwards. Chris says.

But not tonight. Tonight I don't want to tell anybody. I just want watch tv with my boyfriend. I again fall asleep at 20 o'clock...

At 5 o'clock in the morning, I wake up Chris. I'm crying again.

\- Chris, I can't do it! I can't kill my child. I'm so sorry Chris!

\- Nothing to be sorry about! I don't want to press you to do anything. We'll find a way. You're not alone here. Eva, listen to me. It's going to be ok.

\- It's all my fault! I wasn't careful enough.

\- No, you haven't done anything wrong. You tried your best, right? You can't do more! And it takes two. When have I not been eager to do my part? Eva, are you listening to me? We'll find a way. Together. No matter what, I won't leave you to deal with this alone. Ok?

\- Do you really mean it?

\- I really, really mean it! Come here, so we can sleep a couple hours more. It's not that I don't enjoy this conversation, I'm just sure that you will feel better afterwards.

I try to believe him. Try to let his steady breath carry me as I cuddle tightly into his arm. I feel so alone with this responsibility, so loved by Chris, and suddenly so happy with this ball of cells that wants to live against all odds. Is it a sing?

As the days past, my morning sickness is not that bad anymore. The magical 12 weeks is getting closer. We have agreed to tell others at that point, as this seams to be a custom. The risk for a miscarriage should then be pretty much over, we learn from the pregnancy sites we read every night. Also, I really enjoy keeping this as our secret. And I'm not wild about telling mum. Waiting is just fine. Together me and Chris live in an euphoric baby bobble. I convince him, that the baby is a girl and that we should call her Lykke.

\- Lykke Schistad Mohn, Chris hums. That's a good name, I can't wait to meet her.

Next morning when I get up early for school, Chris pulls me bag to the bed. His eyes are so soft, before he kisses me. He tells me how beautiful I am and how much he loves me, and we make love first time after the pregnancy test. When I afterwards go to the bathroom, I feel dizzy. My head starts sum, and it gets so bad I just have to lay down on the floor. When Chris walks in in his bold nakedness and with this pleased after sex smile all over his face, I suddenly feel this incredible pain in my stomach. I scream aloud, and when I see how scared Chris is, that is the thing that really freaks me out. Chris, still naked stands there whit his phone, and tells to the people at 113, that his pregnant girlfriend is bleeding and in pain, and it's really bad, and can they please hurry up. Chris puts the phone on speaker, and the lady on the other end asks him to lift my feet up, and try to keep me awake. We hear the sirens when the ambulance turns to our street, and Chris finally crabs some dirty sweatpants from the laundry basket so that he can open the door.

I'm feeling cold and thirsty. The pre-meds first give me intravenous liquid, and wrap my naked body in blankets. They carry me to the ambulance. Chris crabs his jacket and he sits there holding my hand, answering question on when did I eat last time and how many weeks pregnant I am. I am asked my full name and birth number. The sirens are loud, then we are at Rikshospitalet. The nurses are waiting for me with the hospital bed. As soon I'm on the bed, they run. Chris is left behind, but I can't really think of that. It hurts so bad every time we go over a door stock. At the operation room, I see the people covered in green. They lift me to the operation table and pain hits me again. One of the green women speak to me comfortingly.

\- Don't be afraid.

\- I'm not afraid! It just hurts so much!

Why should I be afraid? I can feel the emptiness in my body. Lykke is not here anymore.

I get a mask on my face and breath in first oxygen and then the world disappears.

When I wake up, Chris and a doctor appear in between the curtains. Tears start running on my cheeks. Chris is crying too, but also smiling like a lunatic.

\- Is Lykke? I whisper. Chris' happy face gives me hope.

\- No, he just hushes me.

The doctor takes the word.

\- Eva, your pregnancy was not in the uterus. The fetus never made the whole way there. It started growing already on the uterine tube. When the fetus got bigger, the tube broke off. It sometime happens, but usually it doesn't get this far. You lost a lot of blood, and also one of your ovaries. So from now on, you will ovulate every other month instead of monthly. It looks like you have had chlamydia, so both of you will have antibiotics to be on the safe side. I also want you to inform all of your sexual partners, also the previous ones.

Chris looks mad now.

\- I told you I'll take care of that! He snaps at the doctor.

\- And I told you, I have to speak with her too. Anyway Eva, we have given you lots of blood, you should start feeling better in a couple of days. Everything is going to be just fine, you have nothing to worry about.

When the doctor has gone, Chris tells that mom just landed to Gardermoen and will be taking the air shuttle to the city. Chris' mum and sister have just arrived.

\- The lady in the reception told me that I had to call for somebody for myself too, I was quite a mess. Plus they took me some clothes.

Chris is still wearing his winter jacket without as much as a t-shirt under it.

\- I talked to Anita, and your dad is coming tomorrow. At that point we already knew you were stable and everything was going to be ok, so he didn't come tonight.

I start crying again.

\- It's not ok! We have lost Lykke! Why does everybody say, everything is fine?

Chris stares me out of words. Then he slowly starts talking.

\- Haven't you understood Eva? You lost so much blood you almost died? We almost lost you! I get you're sad, but you mean million times more to me than Lykke ever did!

\- Don't say that! I try to scream, but I don't have the breath for it.

\- Eva I love you so much! That moment when they were running with you through those sliding doors, just like in Chicago Hope, I would have given anything just to keep you alive. In the ambulance, I was watching you to get more and more pail. It was horrible! I knew I loved you, but now I really, really know.

Then the nurse comes in to take some tests, and sends Chris to eat and change clothes and talk with his family.

In a couple of days, I can leave the hospital. I still feel so weak, that it's hard to distinguish physical and mental weakness. Everybody is so relieved, and nice to me. Nobody seems to care at all about the fact that I actually got pregnant. The parents are not mad. Nobody new, only me and Chris were excited about Lykke. Or me at least. Chris doesn't seem to know what to say. He hugs me when I cry, and then he often falls asleep. He's very ashamed of the chlamydia thing. We both know it's from him. But the doctor told us, it often doesn't give that much symptoms, and you could have it several months. So we just dropped the condoms too early. A stupid mistake, just like me forgetting my pill. Nothing major. Nothing like losing Lykke.

It grow restless, as my body starts to heel. One evening I tell Chris that I just have to get out of the house.

\- Let's go for a walk. I know exactly where. He smiles to me.

It's rainy and windy, we put on wool and core-tex and head to the Oslomarka. In the woods I can breath the humid air. It's silent. The colors of the forest so pure. I feel alive for first time ever since. And then I star crying again.

\- You never wanted this child! You never wanted Lykke. This is so easy for you!

Chris sights. But then he turns to me with his softest eyes.

\- Eva, you have completely right. I didn't want a child. When we were going to have an abortion, I thought that it was the only right thing to do. But of course I couldn't make you to do it, when you didn't want to. I had to help you. I have as much responsibility as you. And after a while, it really made me happy. Scared but happy. But it wasn't... The thing is Eva, I talked to my sister. Charlotte has three kids, and she gave me a lesson on women and babies. So what Lotte said, was that her husband didn't really feel connected with the kids before he actually was holding them. Not even though they had been trying a long time to get pregnant. But for a woman, her body and mind are protecting this unborn child even before she knows anything of it. So I should understand, that it's a very different thing for you girls. And I do! Can you believe me, Eva? I just can't stop being happy that you are still here with me. And it breaks my heart, that you're so sad. I really care!

\- Yeah, Chris, I guess I get it.

\- Eva, do you want to try to get pregnant again? Because we can, if you want to.

\- No. It's not that. I didn't really wanted to me mum. Not yet anyway. I just loved Lykke so much. Or who ever it was. No, I don't want any other child.

\- I really want to be your children's father. You have to believe that. But I would prefer to wait some years.

\- Chris Schistad the father? I snort.

\- What's so funny about that?

\- The king of all fuckboys, having a speech of eternal love and of building a family! Wanting to see his girlfriend to get fat!

\- Eva, I will always love you. Believe me or not. His smile is almost sad.

Anyway, the walk and talk is good for me. At my house, we get of our wet clothes and drink tea in our woolen underwear. When Chris is leaving, I start to cry again. I just can't stand being alone. But he has to go. At the door, Chris starts kissing me passionately. I can't really get to that mood. But he keeps going, and I can feel his dick growing hard and needy against my pelvis.

\- Chris, we can't!

\- Oh, you need it so badly! Eva, let me make you smile again.

\- The doctor said, we had to wait!

\- She only meant intercourse. I'm not Penetrator Chris anymore, remember.

\- I'm not in the mood for giving you a bj!

\- I know you're not! Let me give you pleasure.

Chris' kisses actually start to wake me up. So we move to my bed. Chris undresses me. He takes of his t-shirt, but keeps his pants on.

\- Today, it just doesn't exist! You're not aloud to think of my dick. Chris announces.

He takes me into a spoon, and starts to caress my body and kiss my neck. Soon I get impatient, and try to kiss him, lead his hands. Chris laughs at me, lets me on my back, and starts kissing and striking my whole body. First time after it all, I actually feel whole and good and beautiful. Chris goes down on me. The stars fill my head and I scream when I come on his tong.

\- Chris, I want you to come too!

\- No! Today is all about you.

\- Please! Can't you just let me see? Can you come for me?

\- I almost came into my pants. You are so incredible hot, when you want it so much. So it shouldn't be too difficult, if that's what you're asking...

\- Please Chris! Let me see.

Chris hesitates, but finally he nods. And takes of his pants. His dick in all its glory is standing right before my eyes. Chris starts to jerk off, his hand strong and muscelous, his eyes looking inside. In a few moments the white sperm is flying out.

\- Thanks babe, it was fantastic! He whispers, when he kisses my forehead.

I can't stop smiling. This really made me feel so much better. Now I can easily let Chris go to do what ever he has to do.

\- Thank you! You're a very good therapist!


End file.
